It's so damn difficult to help those that shut you out. All I can do is ride the waves of this mess and be there when he gets done and realizes he had a good friend he pushed away.
He met him, him was all he would talk about, all he would spend time with. Him had involvements so he now had involvements, volunteer work and things that took he away from his friends and obligations.
Look for work, he couldn't do that, him needed he beside him always. Puppy dog eyes and where is that leash!!
I feel for he... I got texts, angry, angry texts... I could see the fear, the helplessness, in a relationship that is sooo good it hurts. He's a bottom now, NEVER before has he been, because him is more dominant???
It will end, gay relationships never last they say. Maybe then I'll get my friend back...
Maybe...
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Oil Changes Life...
Oh a day in the life starts out early... The Baron needed an oil change and has for about 3,000 miles, just one of those things you put off because you are busy doing other things and where can I spend $35 better elsewhere. Knowing they'd not be too busy I rolled over about 10:30 AM to my mechanics. They looked at the docket and the time and said you free right now...
Of course they are good, they have handled all the family's cars since back when Ken was working at the old Chevrolet dealership. Dad likes people he knows and has known for years, so when I got my first car, he took me over to the Irishes and I've been taking our vehicles and my cars there ever since. Granted back then the Labor Per Hour was MUCH cheaper...
So Ken finds a loose Tie Rod... Tony does an estimate... Ken says Tie Rods should be around $40... Tony's estimate... I go to the bottom line - $175 for everything... Yeah, I'm driving easy for a while on that one...
Got the mail, watched the Three Netflixs... Pirates of Silicon Valley, The Times Of Harvey Milk and Torchwood... Don't even try to understand how I do that list. I rarely have a plan just try to mix up the genres so its not all heavy or not all light, with a mix of comedy and sci fi all over the place...
I took some time at the paint table and painted the "Welcome" side of the boards I stained the other day. They will be ready when I get back from my Wednesday away to be painted with the funny sayings for the next event. After painting and I knew the house was clear I took some food stuffs down to prep for the next week's food. Long story there, but I like to have it prepped and ready for when I desire to eat.
I have a homophobic brother. he's an ass, I call him putz. Since Mom's passing he has been uber ass, super putz. Right after her passing we three men in this house did what we had to to survive. If I made a meal I washed all the dishes if they were mine or not. putz, if he washed the dishes would wash his and Dad's but not mine, he'd leave those. If I left dishes in the dryer he would take them out and hide them. he's an ass, what can I say. I found several of my cups and dishes today that I've used... so I decided to put one of his glasses there... One of those I know where you've been putting them thing... OMG did that light a hellstorm...
he went whining to Dad and I got yelled at for "hiding his glasses" hahahahahaaa childish I know, welcome to the world of FREE RENT... you get to put up with mental anguish... Still it's free rent!!!
Now here is the kicker... Dad thinks putz can do no wrong and that I always seem to be picking on him... OMG... I called him delusional... and said WHATEVER a lot... He lives in that little world and can't or doesn't want to see what is really going on. For the most part I don't live in their world, I interact with either of them very little... The kicker is that not 10 minutes after that little yelling session, Dad says we need to go get supplies in the morning and asks me a question about his glass he is using.. is it cracked... AS IF NOTHING JUST HAPPENED....
We have a saying in this family.... Something Happens, Something Is Said, And Life Goes On!!!
Literally!!
Anyhoo...
Today was so nice I pulled Baron out and gave him a wash. Cousin Faye knew how I liked to keep the company van cleaned and looking sharp. She sent up car cleaning supplies and materials to me for Christmas the first year I had Baron. We all wondered how she knew I got a new car... Well she didn't she was thinking I'd use it on the Van. When she came to visit last summer she took one look at Baron and said "oooo whose car is that" When explained it was mine she was impressed and liked it.
PT Cruisers are a like or hate club... I've found very few that are just okay with them.
Baron being clean, I took out my walking stick that I keep in the back of Baron and went on a walkabout. I must have been gone 20-25 minutes. I walked all over the property in a large circle that really got a look at everything... all green and good!!
Steve was on tonight... Might be having a meeting with him tomorrow... Too early to call it a date... He has a tendency not to show up... That's Okay, for him I'll wait... I have so far with no issue...
Ok I'm done time to sleep!!
Of course they are good, they have handled all the family's cars since back when Ken was working at the old Chevrolet dealership. Dad likes people he knows and has known for years, so when I got my first car, he took me over to the Irishes and I've been taking our vehicles and my cars there ever since. Granted back then the Labor Per Hour was MUCH cheaper...
So Ken finds a loose Tie Rod... Tony does an estimate... Ken says Tie Rods should be around $40... Tony's estimate... I go to the bottom line - $175 for everything... Yeah, I'm driving easy for a while on that one...
Got the mail, watched the Three Netflixs... Pirates of Silicon Valley, The Times Of Harvey Milk and Torchwood... Don't even try to understand how I do that list. I rarely have a plan just try to mix up the genres so its not all heavy or not all light, with a mix of comedy and sci fi all over the place...
I took some time at the paint table and painted the "Welcome" side of the boards I stained the other day. They will be ready when I get back from my Wednesday away to be painted with the funny sayings for the next event. After painting and I knew the house was clear I took some food stuffs down to prep for the next week's food. Long story there, but I like to have it prepped and ready for when I desire to eat.
I have a homophobic brother. he's an ass, I call him putz. Since Mom's passing he has been uber ass, super putz. Right after her passing we three men in this house did what we had to to survive. If I made a meal I washed all the dishes if they were mine or not. putz, if he washed the dishes would wash his and Dad's but not mine, he'd leave those. If I left dishes in the dryer he would take them out and hide them. he's an ass, what can I say. I found several of my cups and dishes today that I've used... so I decided to put one of his glasses there... One of those I know where you've been putting them thing... OMG did that light a hellstorm...
he went whining to Dad and I got yelled at for "hiding his glasses" hahahahahaaa childish I know, welcome to the world of FREE RENT... you get to put up with mental anguish... Still it's free rent!!!
Now here is the kicker... Dad thinks putz can do no wrong and that I always seem to be picking on him... OMG... I called him delusional... and said WHATEVER a lot... He lives in that little world and can't or doesn't want to see what is really going on. For the most part I don't live in their world, I interact with either of them very little... The kicker is that not 10 minutes after that little yelling session, Dad says we need to go get supplies in the morning and asks me a question about his glass he is using.. is it cracked... AS IF NOTHING JUST HAPPENED....
We have a saying in this family.... Something Happens, Something Is Said, And Life Goes On!!!
Literally!!
Anyhoo...
Today was so nice I pulled Baron out and gave him a wash. Cousin Faye knew how I liked to keep the company van cleaned and looking sharp. She sent up car cleaning supplies and materials to me for Christmas the first year I had Baron. We all wondered how she knew I got a new car... Well she didn't she was thinking I'd use it on the Van. When she came to visit last summer she took one look at Baron and said "oooo whose car is that" When explained it was mine she was impressed and liked it.
PT Cruisers are a like or hate club... I've found very few that are just okay with them.
Baron being clean, I took out my walking stick that I keep in the back of Baron and went on a walkabout. I must have been gone 20-25 minutes. I walked all over the property in a large circle that really got a look at everything... all green and good!!
Steve was on tonight... Might be having a meeting with him tomorrow... Too early to call it a date... He has a tendency not to show up... That's Okay, for him I'll wait... I have so far with no issue...
Ok I'm done time to sleep!!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Busy Day In The Neighborhood...
One of the things I enjoy it talking with people. It can get me in trouble tho. I met this new man, Ryan, and he has been working my mind over the past couple nights. Long discussions well into the early morning hours. Its' been a journey of discovery, both of myself and of him. It was enjoyable but consumed me and my sleep time.
So today, had a delivery to the coast to make. Got up and 830 AM and have been on the go ever since. But I stated no matter what I'd be in bed by 9 PM to catch up on my sleep. Here I sit watching the 11 PM News.... Oh well... 4 AM will still come early tomorrow....
Made a delivery, made money... spent some... got gas.. $2.21 at Valero in Newport UGH it's going up again...
Since today's business delivery was from the family business Dad came along so we stopped here and there for him. One stop was at our car dealer we have used for the past three vans. He tried to talk Dad into a Truck... he is thinking it over...
Home again finally 3 PM... Six hours and counting... Start to pack the van again for tomorrow's event in Bangor... Putting together new stuff, tagging, inventory... There packed finally
Four O'clock.. Uncle Lawrence comes down and we three chat, him Dad and I. In the middle of that I realize that John and Deli are coming up this weekend and she needs work to do. So as we all keep talking I get to work prepping her work so she will just roll right into it when she gets here.
Five O'Clock... Lets not forget to make Chili for tomorrow... If we don't sell anything we ALWAYS eat well. It started out as a group of us, four, that all brought something... well only two of us remain, but we bring good food.
By the time I get it all done and a phone call out of the way and my own dinner done and ready I hear the last of the 630 PM National News... It's Seven O'Clock....
The rest of the night is spent prepping my business packets and talking with friends and writing letters in support of Just Guys...
DAMN busy day..
Sleep calls me now!!
So today, had a delivery to the coast to make. Got up and 830 AM and have been on the go ever since. But I stated no matter what I'd be in bed by 9 PM to catch up on my sleep. Here I sit watching the 11 PM News.... Oh well... 4 AM will still come early tomorrow....
Made a delivery, made money... spent some... got gas.. $2.21 at Valero in Newport UGH it's going up again...
Since today's business delivery was from the family business Dad came along so we stopped here and there for him. One stop was at our car dealer we have used for the past three vans. He tried to talk Dad into a Truck... he is thinking it over...
Home again finally 3 PM... Six hours and counting... Start to pack the van again for tomorrow's event in Bangor... Putting together new stuff, tagging, inventory... There packed finally
Four O'clock.. Uncle Lawrence comes down and we three chat, him Dad and I. In the middle of that I realize that John and Deli are coming up this weekend and she needs work to do. So as we all keep talking I get to work prepping her work so she will just roll right into it when she gets here.
Five O'Clock... Lets not forget to make Chili for tomorrow... If we don't sell anything we ALWAYS eat well. It started out as a group of us, four, that all brought something... well only two of us remain, but we bring good food.
By the time I get it all done and a phone call out of the way and my own dinner done and ready I hear the last of the 630 PM National News... It's Seven O'Clock....
The rest of the night is spent prepping my business packets and talking with friends and writing letters in support of Just Guys...
DAMN busy day..
Sleep calls me now!!
Taking the Road Less Travelled...
I met this man named Paul... He got me thinking on a lot of things... I'm glad we talk, I've learned a lot of things.. Like taking time to write... This I will have to do more of!!
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